70! Not just a number anymore. Not when it’s me and I’M FREAKIN SEVENTY! (To read the unexpurgated original version, find Chris Brown on Facebook). First thought……YIPPEE, I MADE IT! On second thought, How the hell did this happen?!?
Thinking about this birthday over the last couple months, I came to a couple of realizations, which I wrote to my kids in a long letter earlier this year. First, dying doesn’t scare me so much anymore. But I am terrified at the thought of not being finished with living. And I want to talk with them about life and love and mortality and optimism and joy and jokes and the importance of silliness. And how it’s time for nothing that needs saying to be left unsaid. And how I may be FREAKIN SEVENTY, but how I feel I’m just getting started, just really getting the hang of this thing called life. And how I have so much still to do, to see, to say, to feel, to share. So many places to go. Not to mention the piles of books to read, and all the articles I’ve ripped out and put aside for that rainy year when I have nothing else to do but catch up on reading. My eternal optimism says that I’ll live long enough to catch up……..well, I know that ain’t gonna happen. I just don’t want one of my last dying thoughts to be disappointment that I’ll never get through those piles!
So I’m FREAKIN SEVENTY! How ironic that I wake up every day feeling like I’m still 27. Then I
go in to brush my teeth and take my 8 morning pills, look in the mirror and am shocked to see
someone who looks like an old Larry King or Keith Richards staring back at me. How the hell
did this happen?!?
Whatever, it is happening. FREAKIN SEVENTY! Wow. And whoa! Slow down? Not me, not now.
Downsize? No, time to rightsize maybe. But where to begin? Yes, I know, the piles. But
decluttering, uncluttering…….I’m starting with my head, before I go to the lifetime of memories in
boxes in the basement. But how do I declutter my brain? How do I sleep through the night
without waking up and getting up at 3:43am because I have something to read, write or do.
Throwing old things out is gonna be a whole lot easier than cleaning up my life’s and my brain’s
still undone to-do list. Whatever. I am a very lucky man…….Didi, my kids and granddaughters,
my family, my real true friends, Cozaleenda, my health, my happiness. Happy birthday to me,
happy trails to you!